Work/Life Balance: Internal vs. External Challenges (Part 2)

Feature Article: Law Practice Management Series

by Mary G. Anderson, Life Management Consulting Group

In a past issue of the Estates & Trusts Updates,  I wrote about some of the internal factors that determine how comfortable we are with our work/life balance. This article will focus on the external factors that challenge us. When I think about how to control outside circumstances (e.g. work projects, activities, events, staff, family, etc.) and manage the stress and the unpredictability of events– I immediately begin thinking of setting up systems, routines, and a sense of steady calm that comes from having your home life, your family’s schedule, your partner’s schedule, your work life/tasks in some way organized. Having systems gives us some illusion of control. I believe even when you have all the systems in place– something always jumps out of nowhere and creates the drama/crisis-of-the-moment, etc. Be prepared.

Remember first things first. Planning ahead for heavy work days and challenging family/home events will reduce stress. Manage your weekly schedule, keep your work hours under control and plan ahead for shopping, meals and more. Get help, consider hiring someone extra to help with housecleaning, meal prep, childcare, etc., often brings guilt and more stress because somehow we think we should be doing better. Write a list of your current sources of stress. Here are some of the items that you might consider:

1) I need more help at the office & at home! Get it.

2) I need more sleep and less worrying (notice what’s working and do more of it).

3) I need to get more exercise and learn to relax more easily. So many people have negative attitudes towards healthy eating or exercise. They feel like they’re going to be overweight no matter what they do– so they don’t do anything. And so many people, especially moms, don’t believe that they’re worth it. They put everyone else’s needs above their own, and neglect their own health.

4) I need to look at what you I am tolerating in my life, e.g. inadequate staff, a terrible commute, unreliable day care arrangement, lack of exercise, chronic lateness, feeling exhausted, etc.– make a plan to change it.

5) I want to be more organized and at peace with the choices I am making at work and at home. What projects and activities fuel your energy and your joy? You’ve got to believe that you can make a change and that you’re worth it.

So how do you begin to put yourself first? There are self-numbing activities vs. self-soothing activities (see below). Decide what you will do when you are tired, stressed and on overload.

Self-Numbing Activities

• Compulsive eating
• Binge eating
• Alcohol and drugs
• Compulsive shopping
• Obsessive thoughts of perfection
• Excessive busyness
• Excessive cleaning or organizing behavior               vs.

Self-Soothing Activities

• Eating well
• Healthy physical movement
• Play
• Relaxation strategies
• Creative expression
• Deep breathing
• Prayer and/or meditation
• Eight hours of sleep
• Communicating with others
• Taking time for self
• Enjoying activities

Begin a list of what you need to keep your life in balance.  What regular actions do you need to take to keep your body, spirit, relationships, etc., running smoothly. Suggestions might include:

• Once a month massage
• Annual medical check-up
• Annual dental check-up
• Get a Personal Trainer or Life Coach
• Yearly car detail
• Attending Personal Growth seminars
• Creative art class

Monitor the list  you’ve created and take care of yourself on a daily basis. Learn to manage your time and obligations  differently.

Quote to Ponder:
“Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling five balls in the air. You name them — work, family, health, friends, and spirit –and you’re keeping all these in the air…
You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back.
But the other four balls — family, health, friends, and spirit are made of glass.
If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked,
damaged, or even shattered.  They will never be the same.
You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.”
~Brian Dyson, CEO of Coca Cola Enterprises from 1959-1994