Feature Article: Law Practice Management Series
by Mary G. Anderson, Life Management Consulting Group
We are all given the same block of minutes, days, weeks, months and years to accomplish our goals. I am convinced that the people who are the most successful and satisfied with their accomplishments have developed a strong skill set in setting boundaries with others. They know how to set boundaries around what they choose to think about, act on and the processes they use to accomplish their goals.
To begin with learning how to set boundaries is a lifelong process. I believe it starts with knowing your own personal strengths and weaknesses, your ‘best time to concentrate ‘you’re your worst time, understanding your needs for exercise, diet, extroversion vs. introversion, etc. Once you have a pretty good understanding of what works for you, then the real challenge begins which includes your business/personal relationships, your leadership style, and your ability to remain flexible yet determined to stay true to bringing your best self into the world every day.
When does “No” mean “No” with you? Really? Does your staff know when it is appropriate to interrupt you with a question, phone call or visitor? Does your family understand your schedule and how to handle an emergency? Once again do you have a policy, system, and schedule or routine that allows others to understand ‘how you operate’?
I was doing some business consulting for a local group of City Engineers. The manager of the group was exhausted and so far behind in her work. As we started to evaluate the systems she used to manage a department of over 100 engineers, I stopped and noticed that the entire area seemed kind of quiet that day. I asked her, “where is everyone today, is it a holiday?” She replied, “let me check the department calendar”. We walked over to an area with a huge wall calendar and she looked closely at it only to proclaim that it appeared that most of the group was ‘working from home today’. We started to laugh; it is pretty hard to have a game if all the team is ‘working from home’. Who is leading? Who is setting the policy and terms of the workplace? No wonder she felt overwhelmed—she needed a responsive team that was present.
Here are some phrases you might consider using to begin your practice of saying “No” and start feeling more successful and satisfied every day:
Some phrases to consider using with clients
- I can’t take on your project at this time…
- I’m not accepting any new clients…
- I’m not comfortable doing what you’re asking…
- I’m not willing to do what you’re asking…
- I’m not really qualified to do this work, but I can recommend an excellent person who might be able to help you…
- We have a policy in our firm that we don’t do that…
- Right now my priority is X and everything else I’m declining…
- I’m not accepting any new clients until September…
- Our original agreement was for X; I’m not willing to change that agreement mid-stream…
- I have an appointment that I can’t reschedule…
- Can we schedule this for next week instead?
Some phrases to consider using with co-workers/colleagues
- I want to spend more time doing (fill in the blank)…
- I’m not comfortable doing X, but I’m available to do Y within certain parameters…
- I’d rather do it this way than the way you are suggesting…
- I can’t do this myself, but I can ask my assistant to do it for you as long as it only takes 30 minutes like you promised…
Some phrases to consider using with staff
- My decision is final…
- When “No” means: I can’t do X, but I can offer Y instead…
- When “No” means: I can’t do it now, but I can do it later…
- This Wednesday is really bad for me…
- I don’t meet with clients on Fridays…
- I need to leave work today by 5:00…
Remember saying “no” to one thing means having the time to say, “yes” to another. No need for excuses, feeling guilty, etc. Let others know where you stand and help them to learn from your experiences how important it is to set boundaries and limits to manage your day. There are only 24 hours in each day. Each hour is made up of 60 minutes, so 24 x 60 minutes = 1440 minutes. Simple math tells us that there are 1,440 minutes in each day.
What are you saying yes and no to this minute?
Quote to Ponder
“The victors of the battles of tomorrow will be those
who can best harness thought to action.
From office boy to statesman, the prize will be for those
who most effectively exert their brains;
who take deep, earnest and studious counsel of their minds,
who stamp themselves as thinkers.”
~B. C. Forbes
About the Author:
Mary G. Anderson, is the Program Director at Advanced Legal Training Institute. She also provides client service programs through her company, Life Management Consulting Group. Many estate-planning attorneys have clients that are in need of guidance and support as they manage their elder years. Mary offers 1-on-1 coaching support for families that are facing some of the challenging aspects of end-of-life/eldercare such as choosing/evaluating a nursing home/assisted living center, professional organizing of important papers and documents, estate settlement and support with funeral planning, grief and loss. These consulting services assist clients who are either in 1) the midst of handling a death of a loved one and executing their estate and/or 2) a client who has decided to get organized and plan ahead by completing their will, organizing their important papers, completing a checklist of final wishes and creating a legacy will. Mary is the author of “My Estate Management Guide”, “Pet Protection Legal Care Plan: Financial and Legal Planning to Protect Your Companion Pet” and a Certified Mediator & Estate Settlement Agent.
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